Emotional? Bipolar? Crying? = ‘Cellular Memory Release’

tearsClearing Emotional Cellular Memories

The purpose of the information in this blog is to help you have the same realisation that I’ve had – that your regular emotional releases are healing you, as long as you’re allowing them to flow. Read more to learn how you can help yourself heal through emotional release.

I am a very emotional being.  What I mean by that is that when I feel emotions they are intense, deeply powerful and often de-stableising.


My favourite definition of mental illness was printed in a Rosicrucian Beacon Magazine form 2008. This nailed it for me –

“Those living with mental illness suffer an unusual intensity of normal subjective thoughts and feelings.”

This nailed it for me because prior to the point of reading that paragraph I truly believed I was mad with no hint of ‘normal’ in sight. Seeing the two words normal and intensity side by side made sense to me, and made a massive difference to my healing, because from that point on I could see that I was just ‘Intensely Normal’ instead of ‘barking mad’, this made me feel a lot more comfortable in my own skin.

Diagnosis and Beyond

I was diagnosed with bipolar 1, the ‘emotional disorder’ back in June 2009. Since then I have been traveling through my bipolar journey doing my best to understand the intense and random ebbs and flows that occur within me, whilst learning to love myself and be gentle with myself as it happens.

I have gone through many layers of understanding what ‘having an emotional disorder’ is all about.

I’m going to share a new idea I’ve recently come about with regards to what ‘experiencing emotion’ is all about, and that is this idea of  cellular memory release. I’ll get to this in a bit. But first, just a little bit more about my own style of release.

Random Rhythms of Bipolar

One of the most perplexing aspects of living with bipolar disorder is the completely random way it seems to erupt.

There are often recognisable triggers and warning signs to both the highs and lows, but my own experience has shown me that often there can be no reason at all.

I have really struggled to get understanding around this.

After taking in copious amounts of information and teachings from the self development and self help worlds, teachings that tell you ‘You are the creator of your life and what you’re feeling is because of what you are thinking’  I find I question a lot of what’s being taught.

A feeling coming direct from a thought doesn’t explain to me how one minute I can be feeling fine, light, content, at ease and then in the next moment be bent over, dropping to my knees with sob’s of grief pulsing through my intense emotional state.

I have experienced this many, many times.

And then I’d do that typical depressive thing where I’d start beating up on myself for being the creator of all this mess that I’m feeling. A lot of self-help teachings can really give you the gusto to beat up on yourself. Has anyone else experienced that?

Human Design’s Perspective of Emotion

A big wake up to me came when I started getting my teeth into Human Design, a profound science of who-you-are and why-you-are.

In the human design system you have people who are emotional defined, and people who aren’t.  Those who are emotional defined transmit their emotions into the field. Those who aren’t emotional defined pick up those transmitted emotions and amplify them within their own systems.

According to Ra Uru Hu, this causes for a lot of problems for the non emotional people.


I was astounded when in my human design analysis I was told I was not an emotional being. ‘Yeah right!’ I scoffed, thinking he was completely off track.

‘You are NOT an emotional person’ He told me sincerely. ‘The problem is that you are open and receptive in the emotional centre/ the solar plexus, so you are picking up and feeling and experiencing all the emotions being transmitted by the emotionally defined people around you. You are actually designed to be very calm and cool’

Wtf? That is some mean joke to get your head around when you’ve been diagnosed with and living with an emotional rollercoaster disorder. What he was basically telling me was that what I was experiencing was not mine, it was other peoples stuff? Ummm

I’m going to cover this topic in another blog at some point, because I really need to understand it more deeply myself. But for now I’ll just leave that hanging there, this idea that what you are intensely feeling is not always your own stuff.

And I’m not sure where being emotionally defined or undefined connects to the releasing of cellular memory (more below), because how can you be releasing something cellular if it’s not yours your releasing . . .

This idea of cellular memory release makes sense to me because of the regular epic emotional meltdowns I have.

I heard this information from the Angel Worker Matt Kahn.

clearing cellular memories = healing

Clearing Cellular Memories

  • Every day of all of your life, everything that you need to be clearing cellular memories is already happening.
  • You attract a tricky situation that, depending upon your beliefs, causes a negative emotional trigger in your body.
  • The emotional trigger and wave is the nervous system actually releasing the outdated cellular debris, which is keeping your frequency limited.
  • The emotional feelings that you start to feel in your body are the themes of what’s being released from your energy field.
  • The result of that trigger and release is that some new ‘space’ in your field is created.
  • If you then go into making up a story about how and why you’re reacting, and if you start blaming the person or situation that has ‘triggered’ you, or you go into blaming yourself for reacting in such a way, then you will effectively be  re-filling in that space of healing with more debris that the universe will have to create another experience to come along and trigger you again so that you can release again.

So, on a daily basis we are already clearing so many cellular memories naturally. We just have to learn that that’s actually how the body is healing.

When the trigger occurs and we allow the feelings to be felt we’re actually having a moment of cellular healing.

It’s our stories about the healing process that causes us to fill ourselves up with emotional junk again. This is why we often don’t get to feel the relief of the release.

Doe’s any of this sound familiar?

I am Not My Feelings!

A couple of years ago I had an ‘A-ha!’ moment. I was in the midst of one of these random meltdowns, powerful waves of grief, I was actually on the floor releasing, profoundly sobbing and not knowing where the heck this was coming from.  Then, I caught an image in my minds eye of me being in the back of a cave watching a water fall cascade and fall past the opening of the cave.

I noticed that I was watching the water, but not getting wet.

i am not my emotionsIn that moment I had an awakening! I realised ‘I am NOT my emotions’. I experienced a kind of inner separation, a detachment from the drama. I stopped having a story around it and so it just flowed and I allowed the space for that. It was very cleansing.

I witnessed as all the grief flowed through me, but for the first time I absolutely realised it had nothing to do with me, nothing to do with what I was up to, nothing to do with what I was thinking. It was nothing to do with me being me. It was a moment of cellular memory release. I realised I wasn’t at fault for it.

Intense Daily Release!

Prior to this experience between 2008 and 2012 I had spent 3 years of intense crying every single day. Every time I overflowed my reasoning would dredge up every possible reason for my crying to come into my mind, and then all the heavy thick accumulations of those stories triggered more and more layers of other stories and emotions to be dredged up and that never ending process would keep feeding itself.

This was an exhausting and terrifying time of my life. I was in such overwhelm with it I couldn’t and didn’t function very well at all.

What I’m starting to learn is that these epic meltdowns are either one or a combination of –

  • me picking up and releasing some emotional vibe that’s been beamed out from anothers aura
  • it’s me releasing some emotional stuff that’s trapped in my own energy field and cells. Cellular Memory Release – healing
  • Or, it’s me having been triggered and it’s epic because of the meaning I’m attaching and feeding in to it!

Allow Your Emotional Feelings To Flow

Nowadays when I feel the emotional wave coming, and it comes regularly, I make space for it. Just like going to the toilet, there is an accumulation of energy (cellular memory) that needs to be released. If I try and hold it in it gets really uncomfortable.

I find myself still trying to hold it in when I’m around others, as I still have the lingering programming that I’m a bad person for being emotional. But with practice I’m training myself to let it flow more easily and when it needs to. I’m getting better and better.

This means giving myself permission to feel what’s alive in me and to just let it flow through my experience without there being a reason for it.

Even though allowing your feelings to flow can make you feel ultra vulnerable, there is something very empowering about allowing yourself to feel fully. You’re breaking through that tightly fitting conditioning that basically screams ‘NO’ to any authentic humanness wishing to come forth.

This is how I am healing my bipolar.

A Recap on Cellular Memory Release

  • Every emotional reaction is a moment of cellular healing. Whatever manifests externally in our lives is coming in to pull the cellular conditioning from the body. It is so that we can heal.
  • You can then be free of the cellular memories preventing your energetic frequency from existing in it’s natural state, which is at the highest frequency possible.
  • Everything that comes into your life is coming in to teach you something.
  • What is it here to teach you?
  • Most people don’t realise that what they’re feeling negatively is actually what’s leaving.

I’ll repeat that because to me this point is key –

What you are feeling negatively is what’s leaving you

  • So feel however you feel and let it pass through.
  • Change your relationship with the reactions and emotions you experience.
  • When a reaction happens realise it is a momentary release. You are letting go of all the cellular memories that are preventing you from being at a higher frequency.
  • You’re freeing up your field just by recognising that what you’re feeling is healing itself and leaving the field and returning to the source of origin.

Life is doing this automatically.

divine source
There is a Divine reason for all those tears x

All you need to do is recognise that this is the highest purpose of the reactions and feelings you feel. See the moment through the highest perspective of consciousness and you will see that all you are here to do is to allow what already unfolds to unfold.

The difference between the integrity of healing and when you’re struggling with it, is that when you are sad just allow yourself to feel what you’re feeling without focusing on what ideas you have about it.

Thanks for reading my post. I wish for you to get some value from it. Please leave comments below.

p.s – Don’t leave empty handed – this is a completely different subject but also a massive part of my life so I’d like to share it with you. Pick up your FREE 7 Day Video Bootcamp Training on how to get set up with you own business online. It’s because of my training that I have my awesome business and this blog on the go x enjoy!

With Love

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2 Replies to “Emotional? Bipolar? Crying? = ‘Cellular Memory Release’”

  1. Hi Alexa!!
    Thank you very very much for this post. This one and the Quad right facts.
    I’ve been in touch with the human design system for the first time in my life very recently, and reading your posts has helped me A lot!
    I’m having the same awkward sensation that you described, discovering that the dazzling rollercoaster emotion state in which I tend to live is the exact opposite that I’m designed to do, that is to be calm and gentle, and letting things flow (I’m a quad right!). I too have tried too many times to confront emotions in a very logical way, relating them to thoughts, in a never ending spiral of issues.
    So, your post, this one, has showed me, for the very first time, that there’s no need to associate the thoughts with the emotions, that the mindful research is only mind boggling after all – I’m felling a bit strange by the sight of the liberty ahead of me. It came in a wonderful moment, the suggestion of the memory cells release, and making space for the emotions to arise and go.
    Thank you, very, very much.

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